sábado, 24 de novembro de 2012

And scene

Leo blind folds _________________ and drives. Leo gives ______ an mp3 player an plays a recording. Here's what the recording said:

There were times when I dated guys for a while, but I never felt those butterflies in my stomach. I started to think it was not meant to be that way for a grown man - feeling like a vulnerable teenager. But then, there was always something missing. Even if the guy were all I've ever wanted in a man.
But then, there was this one man that made me feel all of it all, all at once, with no disappointment. And he kept it that way for 2 entire days - which means that in life I found out that it takes less than 2 days for jerks start to be jerks.
There were times that the butterflies were there, but it didn't leave certain spaces. The bedroom, the living room, the same movie theater, always only the two of you. That love that existed with a certain script - anything out of that box would cause the feeling that you were dealing with a stranger or that you could not put up with certain things in other situations.
So either relationships were serious but with no passion or just a passionate sparkle. Until the 2-day man.
This 2-day man haunts me beautifully. I am a fool for him. Even now when I don't have him, I've been learning more and more of why I would ever want to  be with him. If I may try to explain, I will quote one of the songs I dedicated him: My every thought is of you.
Yes, my every thought is of him. And I don't understand why, specially because I thought I would be like this with someone that would do the same gestures, even in his own way. But this man, nothing.
I really do believe it will take a long time, maybe this lifetime to make him feel the same for me. Even then, I don't feel like loving anybody else. It's haunting, confusing and terrible if I try to hold it to myself.
All this situation made me think about what I want with a man, what I believed in, in terms of a relationship.
Despite the haunting part, I hope you will feel glad to be my muse, my inspiration for all of this. Let's talk about this man as if I'm talking to you then:
I want you to know my past. I want to show you old pictures of myself and show you my old school. Where I got my first job, where I went to University. I want you to know my baggage and you will do your best to try to understand, just as I will do with yours.
We will share dreams and goals and we'll make plans for all of them. We will have our own life style and we will build it together, sharing what we've always wanted or believed the perfect relationship would be, because we want to give it to each other. From the most simple up to the craziest, I will share my dreams with you, I will love to hear yours and we'll make a bucket list. On my side I might include:
- Visit Machu Pichu, Santiago de Compostela, Cuba, Cancun, Antartida, Dubai, Berlin, France, Amsterdam, London, Greece, Italy, Dublin, Dubai, Australia, Japan, New Zealand, Mexico, Brazil - and other destinations we feel like. Bottom line, we will be travelers.
- Property. A house near the beach shall be the first, then one apartment wherever we want, a house in the country and other properties we decide to buy together.
- Family. Yes, I might want to be a father. I just say might because I'm frightened of it but I believe I have knowledge to pass on, I believe raising a kid with you will be simply beautiful.
- Parties. No, I am not the club kind of guy but having friends over, cooking for them is a pleasure - if there's property, there must be people enjoying them, right?
- You will have to understand that I am an old lover. I will show up at your work, cook special meals, take you away on a surprise trip, buy flowers and chocolate and everything that come in my head to make you feel loved. Which doesn't mean we won't fight, have individual moments.
- I will meet your family. And just like this and many others to come, I will make a drama of it. I have fun with drama, and you will be able to not take me seriously in these moments. But you will hold my hand, and you won't complain when I squeeze it seconds before I actually get to meet them. And I will dress up.
- I will not talk about the way I will propose to you, because it might spoil a surprise, so let's just move on.
- I will love to welcome you when you get some. Some days, I'll be listening to this.... some days, to this..... some days, to this one.... and whatever it was that might have been bothering on a grey day, either to me or to you, it shall pass with our company.
- We will be able to watch and re-watch TV shows and movies we love. We will be able to talk about them, make fun of them and have marathons.
- We will never be afraid to ask: what do you want to do tonight?
- We will have joint hobbies and individual hobbies. We will talk and understand the need for individual things, when they are needed.
- We will take pictures and make movies of our happy moments.
These are some of the things. I believe everyone has these things - criteria or whatever you wanna call them. And if they were true to them, they would realize that finding someone to share all of that and then they would understand why people say love is hard - but it is possible.
I am a man...a family man who knows what he wants and whoever wants to be with me should know what he wants as well.
Fortunately, I see you. Somehow I want to do all of these things with you, and I think you've got what it takes. All of the things I stated above demand commitment, which is why I believe in marriage. Because in marriage, we make vows, all of these are mine.
So in the bad days, we will turn to these written words and we will remember.

This is the end of the recording. Please do not attempt to take out the fold or reply to this message. If we are not there yet, here's a playlist for you:

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